The 100 Greatest Headlines From ‘The Onion’

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And, on the foreign front, we must find an enemy and defeat it. Excess homocysteine also interferes with the production of the feel-good hormones serotonin , dopamine, and norepinephrine, which regulate not only mood, but also sleep and appetite. The findings may improve treatments for osteoporosis. That's three blades and an aloe strip. Newly published research finds that mannose, a type of sugar, has surprising effects on metabolism, weight gain, and the gut's microbiome. Sign up for our free email newsletters. My all time favorite and introduction to the onion:

Welcome to Reddit,

'The Onion': 25 favorite headlines for its 25th birthday

Then the other guy came out with a three-blade razor. Because we hit back with a little thing called the Mach3Turbo. But you know what happened next? The US had just experienced one of the nastiest divides in recent memory, with the person elected not even winning the popular vote.

There was some frustration among the populace, and The Onion highlighted those views of President Bush in a funny article that seemed more like an oracle, than a satire article.

Reading this after Bush left office it makes you wonder if he used this article as a checklist. And, on the foreign front, we must find an enemy and defeat it. Satire is something that is incredibly hard to do when something like September 11th occurred. As you remember, people were very sensitive to any thing that might even closely remember anti-American sentiment. How many times do I have to say it? Love him or hate him, President Obama created a bigger media stir during an election than any president to date.

We partner with some of the companies that sell these products, which means Healthline UK and our partners may receive a portion of revenues if you make a purchase using a link s above. Article last updated by Yvette Brazier on Tue 19 December All references are available in the References tab. A review on the materials used during the mummification processes in ancient Egypt. Mediterranean Archaeology and Archaeometry, 11 2 , Garlic and other Alliums: Royal society of Chemistry.

Japanese Journal of Cancer Research, 90 6 , Allium vegetables and risk of prostate cancer: Journal of the National Cancer Institute, 94 21 , Nature, , Anticancer compounds found in food.

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Fast facts on onions: Onions have been used as food for thousands of years; in ancient Egypt, they were worshiped and used in burial rituals. Onions have many possible health benefits including reducing the risk of obesity , heart disease , and cancer. They are high in vitamins , minerals, and antioxidants. Incorporating onions into a diet is very simple, with a versatile range of ways they can be prepared and cooked in regular foods.

Onions have been praised for their flavor and health benefits for thousands of years. Though the first headline "Mendota Monster Mauls Madison" isn't exactly a classic, it set the stage for a publication that has since become a national treasure and the core component of a far-reaching media empire. How did The Onion grow from its low-rent local roots to such heights?

Here, track the growth of the publication with 10 of our favorite stories from The Onion 's year history:. Before an emergency joint session of Congress yesterday, President Clinton announced US plans to deploy over 75, vowels to the war-torn region of Bosnia.

The deployment, the largest of its kind in American history, will provide the region with the critically needed letters A, E, I, O and U, and is hoped to render countless Bosnian names more pronounceable. The US is proud to lead the crusade in this noble endeavour. Read the rest of the story.

This is one of those times. Justice Anthony Kennedy, writing on behalf of the majority, noted that "while the U. Constitution guarantees equality of power among the executive, legislative and judicial branches, it most definitely does not guarantee equality of coolness, and in this regard, the judicial branch kicks that which can be construed as total and complete ass.

There's even a blog devoted to collecting the responses of such readers. One early and noteworthy example: The Westboro Baptist Church's Fred Phelps, who angrily blogged about this blatantly satirical "homosexual recruitment drive" as if it were real. Emmonds credited much of the recruiting success to the gay lobby's infiltration of America's public schools, where programs promoting the homosexual lifestyle are regularly presented to children as young as 5.

This ruthless story is one such example. For as long as he can remember, 7-year-old Timmy Yu has had one precious dream: From the bottom of his heart, he has hoped against hope that God would someday hear his prayer to walk again. Though many thought Timmy's heavenly plea would never be answered, his dream finally came true Monday, when the Lord personally responded to the wheelchair-bound boy's prayer with a resounding no.

I haven't been this happy since before the accident, when I could walk and play with the other children like a normal boy. Mere days from assuming the presidency and closing the door on eight years of Bill Clinton, president-elect George W. Bush assured the nation in a televised address Tuesday that "our long national nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over.

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